More Tendon crap

It's been 3 weeks since I hurt myself playing with So Percussion, and today I started to feel actual pain while playing. I know I whine about this a lot here, but it really concerns me. I don't really have time to take off from playing this year, so I need this to pass. I'm seeing my therapist again on Friday, so hopefully he can help me out.

Even though Thursdays are my busiest days, I'm going to try to start moving tomorrow. I have to teach jazz ear training in the morning, then go to orchestra until 5:30, but after I eat dinner maybe I can find some time to move stuff before I go to choir rehearsal at 7. I guess it's only an hour, but hey--it's a start. I'll start moving stuff for real on Friday.

I can't wait to get out of this apartment--even though I love it. The last month here has been a real struggle--the building's completely empty, the ceiling is falling apart and I have had no motivation to keep the place clean--simply because I'm leaving soon. But I'm really going to miss this place. I have a lot of fond memories about this apartment, even though it was basically my tendinitis jail cell. I wish I could go back to the beginning of my junior year of college. I was at school practicing all day (with no pain!), would get to hang out with all my friends there, and then come home to my roommate mixing rum and cokes and playing Wii sports. What a great time! Hanging out with him was awesome, practicing all day was awesome... I wish I hadn't spent so much of that time being sad about the break-up I went through over the summer. Of course, then the pain kicked in at the beginning of November... and the rest is history.

But even still: re-arranging furniture, getting plants, playing Chrono Cross with the windows open in the springtime, reading on my roof, jamming with Nick, and heck, getting drunk just because we could. I'll probably even miss doing dishes with a dishwasher (new place doesn't have one!) All of these things are memories now, but they are memories that I will hold close for the rest of my life. Even the little things. Especially the little things.

By the way, I'm an unbelievably nostalgic person.

Optimisim

Just got back from another basketball game... pulled something in my neck almost immediately (can't look to the left right now), but it was fun to run around and stuff. I might be going to Philly to see the orchestra play Berlioz' Symphoy Fantastique tomorrow or Saturday, not sure yet. I was going to run the Baltimore 5K on Saturday morning, but it sold out right before my boss called me to confirm that I had that morning off. Go figure.

I don't know how other people experience this sort of thing (or even if they do), but I've always been fairly keen on what one would call "gut feelings". For me, it's just something that lingers in the background of whatever your thinking of... but sometimes, if you notice it, it will be glaringly obvious how a situation will turn out. It could be as stupid as a game of rock-paper-scissors, bringing your hand down and thinking "oh, I'm going to win this one" (which you do), or as crazy as Kei Maeda (a fellow percussionist at Peabody who doesn't really play basketball) dribbling a basketball at half-court, saying "I'm going to make this one. I feel it." (He made that half-court shot--and only that one).

The fact of the matter is, at least for me, they're there. You can't look for it, you can't fabricate it--it's just there, and you have to get lucky enough to notice it. It was the feeling I had going into my senior year of school--I thought my hands were good enough to go back to playing, but something just didn't feel right. Turns out, I wasn't ready to go back into playing full time. Same thing happened this year, and I was in way better shape than last year. Something just didn't feel right, and lo and behold--I injured myself playing with So.

But today, while playing snare drum, I caught myself thinking about how happy I was to be playing back in the studio, with Vikki (another percussionist, obviously) also playing in the room next to me. We both would always be practicing at the same time before we got injured, and it was nice to be doing it again. Then all the sudden, the thought crossed my mind:

"I'll really look forward to it next semester, when I'm completely healed."

That's when I realized...that gut anxiety I've had is gone. Even though I'm injured right now, it's gone. Suddenly it was just granted that everything would be back to normal. That normally doesn't happen that way, at least for me.

I dunno. I think a sign is a sign. I'm going to heed that sign...I like what it's saying. Of course, I'll still be careful--that's part of the deal. But I'll keep my head up, shoulders back, and just keep moving forward.

Just as soon as I get my neck looked at. Ow.

Music and exercise

I just got back from a soccer game over at Hopkins. It was like, twelve of us from Peabody against a simple six man team from Hopkins. They creamed us, 8-0. But it was so much fun!

I'm realizing how important it is, as a musician, to get exercise. From the mental perspective, being shut into Peabody for so long really does a number on you, and sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to get out and run around. I've been in a slump lately, and this helped so much.

The physical side is super important as well though, and for me probably the most important. My right arm, for the moment, feels great. All that blood flow really does the body good. A warm muscle is a happy muscle, and my muscles really need that blood to keep them warm and help them heal. We'll see how it feels tomorrow, but for the time being I am happy.

I wish I could say the same for my right leg, though. My IT band is giving me the same pain that I have to deal with every once and a while. I'm pretty sure at this point I have some sort of predisposition to overuse injury, and I'd love to find out what it is.